


A Fighting Chance

by PeetasPearl18



Category: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Military, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-11-25
Updated: 2013-01-04
Packaged: 2017-11-19 13:42:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/573880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeetasPearl18/pseuds/PeetasPearl18
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Modern Day AU. Katniss Everdeen doesn’t realize she let the wrong boy go off to war without admitting her feelings. She learns that a heavy price comes with holding back and hesitating. Will her soldier ever come back home or will they not even have a fighting chance?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**~A Fighting Chance~**

**~Chapter 1~**

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**_Summary:_ ** _Modern Day AU. Katniss Everdeen doesn’t realize she let the wrong boy go off to war without admitting her feelings. She learns that a heavy price comes with holding back and hesitating. Will her soldier ever come back home or will they not even have a fighting chance?_

* * *

**Hi everyone! Welcome to my newest Katniss/Peeta story! I’m so glad to be starting a new story for all of my great readers.**

**This story is also posted on FanFiction, but its rated “T” on that site. I just tweak a little bit of the chapter to keep it at the “T” rating for FanFiction. It will remain “M” on AO3 though. The plotline is the same for both versions, so don’t worry. This is just so that my readers can choose which ‘version’ they want to read. I have the same username on FanFiction, Peeta’sPearl18, so just search me there. **

**Enjoy! 3**

* * *

 

**~Katniss POV~**

The hot May sun beats down on me mercilessly. This summer has been predicted to be the hottest on record for fifty years. If the weather keeps going up at this rate, though, I don’t doubt it will be the hottest in a hundred years.

I fit through my little opening in the fence easily. I’d gone to the woods to escape what today would bring. But in truth, there would be no escaping today. 

 I’ve been going into the woods beyond our small town since my father’s death in a mine explosion. A shiver runs through my body when I remember that time.

_It was at the worst time._

_I was wandering the streets, desperately trying to sell some of Prim’s old baby clothes. But they were so threadbare that no one, not even the people from the Seam, wanted them. After hours of wandering in the freezing cold rain, I finally collapsed by a large, old tree._

_The realization that I would have no money or food to bring home to my family hit me at that moment. I saw Prim’s gaunt face in my mind. I lifted my own hands to my eyes and saw my long, thin fingers and skinny arms._

_I suddenly realized I was sitting in front of the town bakery. The delicious smell of freshly cooked bread hit my nostrils and I almost moaned out loud._

_It took all my strength to stagger to my feet. I thought that maybe there would be something to eat in their trash can. I limped over to the trash can, hoping to find some moldy bread or soggy vegetables. They were things that no one but my family was desperate enough to eat._

_I peered down into the depths of the bakery’s trash can. Empty. It was bare as a bone._

_What little hope I’d had before vanished into thin air. This was it. I was going to die, right here, right now, and Prim and Mother will die too. The overwhelming hopelessness overcomes me and I curl up into a ball on the muddy ground._

_The muddy ground was soft and reassuring against my hungry, exhausted body. My fingers slowly made swirly designs in the mud, and I could feel myself physically relaxing as the fear left my body. This wouldn’t be a bad place to die,_ I thought. _I was just about to lay my head down when I heard screaming._

_“You fucking idiot boy!” A woman screamed. “Feed it to the pigs, no one will buy burned bread!”_

_I heard a distinctive sound of wood hitting skin. A moment later, a child’s scream sounded. The door opened, and a beam of light hit my face. The light disappeared just as suddenly as it had come as the door closed. I lifted my head off the ground and peered at the scene before me._

_A boy my age was standing in front of the pigs. He was holding two loaves of burnt bread. I saw him scrape off some of the burnt edges and throw it to the pigs. Then, with a quick flick of his wrist, he threw the first loaf of bread at me. It landed by my feet. I hesitated for just a moment before picking it up and stuffing it down my jacket, to protect it from the rain. He threw the second loaf and I stuffed that down my jacket as well._

_I couldn’t be sure, but I thought I saw the boy- Peeta, I think his name was- nod at me as I got up off the ground. I turned and ran, but once I was on the street, I turned and looked back at the boy. My lips parted, as if I wanted to say something to him, but I thought better of it._

_I didn’t stop running until I got home._

_Prim’s wide eyes stared at the loaves I’d deposited on the table hungrily. Her hands reached out to grab a loaf, but I shooed her hand away. I forced my mother to sit at the table, and then I sat down and cut each of us a small piece of bread. _

_It was good, hearty bread, full of nuts and raisins, and for the first time, I went to bed with a full stomach._

_The next day, at school, I tried to find a way to thank Peeta Mellark. But he was always with his friends, and I never approached him._

_It was that day, while I was waiting for Prim, that I saw it. The first dandelion of the spring. I suddenly knew how I’d survive. I would hunt, in the woods, like my father taught me before his death. And since that day, I’ve never been able to shake the connection between Peeta and the bread that gave me hope, and the dandelion that reminded me that hope was not lost._

Now, years later, I found myself standing at the bakery again. I went around the back of the bakery, and knocked once. I have to come around the back of the bakery because Mrs. Mellark, Peeta’s witch of a mother, would have a fit if she saw “Seam trash” trading squirrels in the bakery. But Mr. Mellark likes squirrel meat, so I trade it to him in secret.

The door swung open to reveal Peeta Mellark. _Fuck_.

I stood in front of him for a moment before I regained my voice.

“I have three squirrels to trade with your father.” I say. It occurs to me that this is the longest sentence I’ve said to Peeta in my life.

“I can trade with you. Does my dad give you two loaves per squirrel?” Peeta stares at me steadily. His bright blue eyes are focused on me, and I suddenly find myself staring right into them.

His voice jerks me back to the present moment. “Yes.” I reply. I hand him the squirrels I have and wait at the door while he gets my bread.

Peeta emerges again moments later He holds a brown bag with six rolls of bread and another, smaller bag.

“What’s this?” I ask Peeta, gesturing at the smaller bag.

“Just a little bonus.” Peeta replies with a small smile. “Because Gale is leaving.”

“We don’t need it.” I say, narrowing my eyes at Peeta. It’s almost like he pities me, and I don’t like it.

“Just take it.” Peeta says simply. He gives me the bags, and our hands brush. My stomach does a strange flip, and I jerk my hand away.  “Sorry.” Peeta mumbles, his cheeks flaring.

And then he gives me a small wave and closes the door.

I stand there for a couple seconds before opening the smaller bag and peering inside. There are three cookies in there and a small piece of paper that says _Support our Troops._

I carefully lay the bag on the ground by the door. We don’t need the town’s sympathy.

* * *

 

“You look beautiful.”

I jump, taken by surprise by the hushed whisper. It only takes me a moment of searching to find the owner of the voice.

“Prim, come in here.” I say gently. I continue to stare at my reflection, and wonder where Prim sees beauty. All I see is a very tanned girl with grey eyes, dark hair, and too many scars and callouses.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Prim emerge from behind my slightly ajar door. Her blue eyes are fixated on me, and I see jealousy in their blue depths.

I walk over to crouch before Prim’s smaller frame. “Little Duck, what’s wrong?” I ask softly.

“I want to be just like you when I grow up.” Prim says softly. She runs her fingers through the light blue material of the dress I wear. It’s one of my mother’s, from the days when she was rich, and by far the nicest thing I’ve ever worn.

“No, you don’t.” I laugh dryly, even though there is nothing funny about the thought.

“Yes, I do.” Prim replies stoutly. Her blue eyes stare at me in determination and her full lips are pressed in a thin line. “You’re so brave, Katniss.”

I brush her compliment off.

“Little Duck, tuck your tail in.” I chide her. Prim obediently tucks her white dress shirt into the skirt she wears. It’s at least several sizes too big on her, because it used to be mine.

The church bells ring faintly in the distance.

“Little Duck, it’s time to go.” I say in a surprisingly steady voice. I practice my best poker face, because it’s not my place to be showing my emotions.

I take Prim’s hand in my own, and grab my only purse on the way out. Mother nods at me, and in her soft voice, she says, “I’ll be right behind you two.”

“Ok.” I say in a detached voice. Prim quickly gives Mother a hug, and I follow suit, but my touch is cold and stiff on her thin shoulders.

Prim and I walk outside into the warm sun. It only takes a couple minutes to get to the Hawthorne’s house, since they live two houses down from us.

Hazelle answers the door just seconds after I ring the doorbell. Her face is pinched with worry, but she manages a smile when she sees Prim and I at the door.

“Hello, Prim, Katniss.” She reaches out to hug Prim and I. “Thanks for coming.”

“You’re welcome.” Prim says softly. Her top lip is quivering, a sure sign that she is going to cry.

“My mom will be here once she finishes with the cooking.” I tell Hazelle as we walk inside the small yet cozy house.

“Why did she make so much food?”  Hazelle sighs. “Why, I’ll be surprised if I still have the appetite to eat with all this.”

I shrug. Mother has been up since dawn cooking. “That’s just how my mother is.”

Hazelle glances at Prim and I. “Prim, why don’t you come help me with this salad?” Hazelle looks at me for a moment. “Katniss, you should go check on Gale. Tell him everything will be ready in a couple minutes.”

I nod at Hazelle, but I don’t know if I am ready for this. I thought I’d have at least another hour before I have to talk to Gale, but now, I’m just seconds away from his room. I actually planned out a goodbye speech, but I don’t think I’ll follow through with it. I’ve never been one for words. I hesitate for just a moment before knocking on Gale’s door.

“Mom, five more minutes.” Gale mutters from behind the door.

“Gale, it’s me.” I say through the door. “Katniss.”

Gale’s door swings a second later. He shoves me in roughly before closing the door behind us. I’m up against the wall, his body trapping me, as I stare desperately into his grey eyes, exactly the same shade as mine. He could be my brother. Straight black hair, olive skin, we even have the same gray eyes. But we’re not related, at least not closely.

“You can still back out of this, Gale.” I whisper softly, almost begging. “You don’t have to go.”

It’s strange, how only Gale knows the true side of me. I’d never let myself look weak in front of Mother or Prim. In fact, I’ve been pointedly avoiding the subject of Gale for the past two weeks. But now, in front of him, I let my fear for him show. I know it’s pathetic, and Gale will think I’m a weakling, but I can’t resist. If he ends up staying because of this, then I’ll do it.

Gale’s eyes burn. “I have to go, Catnip.” He practically growls. “Don’t you see that?”

I sigh. Gale was made to fight. He was born to be a soldier, and despite my best efforts, I can’t see him sitting on the sidelines and ignoring a fight.

“I’ll come back.” Gale vows. That glint of determination is in his eyes, and I know nothing can change his mind now. “Catnip, if it’s the last thing I ever do, I will come back.”

I nod mutely. I seem to have lost the ability to speak. “I can do this.” He argues. “I know what I’m getting into.”

“Okay.” I whisper. Gale never has lied to me before, and he has no reason to do so now. Just by looking into his eyes, I know he is telling what he truly believes.

“I promise you that I will come back.” Gale reiterates. “And just to prove it, I’m going to give you this.”

He pulls out a sparkling diamond. “Katniss, will you marry me when I come back?”

It doesn’t miss my attention that he called me Katniss. Gale has called me Katniss a handful of times, only when he’s about to say something important. But I still hesitate. Marriage was never part of my plans for my future. I don’t want to get married or fall in love because they lead to children. And children are _definitely_ not part of my plan.

“I wouldn’t do this if I wasn’t sure I was coming back.” Gale says gently. “I’m not going to keep you hoping that I’ll come back someday and then break your heart when I don’t come back.”

I hesitate even more. I’ve known Gale for so long now that he’s become like the brother I’ve never had. Deep down, I know that marrying Gale makes sense. Half our town thinks Gale and I are already engaged anyway.

“Ok, I’ll marry you.” I say, wincing at how strange- but _right_ \- the words sound on my tongue.

Gale slips the ring on my finger and smiles. “Perfect.” He says.

I just nod as I twirl the foreign metal now sitting on my finger. It feels so strange, so out of place. A shiver runs through my body when I touch it.

“Do you like it?” Gale asks me, his lips curled upwards into a cheeky grin. He has moved to the suitcase lying on his bed, and is haphazardly throwing some clothes into it.

“Yes.” I say. The diamond is small, just one in the center, oval shaped, and the band is a shining silver. It’s definitely the most expensive thing I own. “Thank you.”

I look around Gale’s room. It’s practically empty, because his younger brother, Rory, is moving into it. Rory is excited, because he’s never had a room to himself.

“Well, let’s go downstairs, right?” Gale asks.

“Ok, but…” I trail off, unsure how to say this. “Just be careful. You know, don’t do anything stupid or dangerous.”

“Katniss, I’m going to be fine.” Gale repeats. “I have to be fine. My family needs me.”

“I’m just worried.” I sigh. “Who’s going to be my hunting partner now?”

Gale grins. “Katniss, you’re a good hunter. Not as good as me, _obviously-“_

“Are you sure about that?” I challenge him. “You don’t get all your squirrels right through the eye, do you?”

“I’m still better.” Gale replies. He never admits that he is wrong, damn him. “But I’m saying, you’ll do fine without me. Maybe you can teach Rory to hunt too.”

I laugh. “Teach Rory to hunt?” I repeat. “That’s funny. You know Rory spends every waking moment with Prim.”

Gale barks out a laugh. “He’s got a crush on Prim.” He says in defense of his younger brother.

“Everyone knows that.” I roll my eyes at Gale.

It feels good to joke around with Gale again. The tenseness in the room disappears. Our easy banter always puts me at ease. Ironically, only Gale or the woods can calm me down when I’m distressed.

“Except me, apparently.” Gale mutters. “Rory was _terrified_ when I caught him kissing Prim.”

I laugh. Prim came home in a daze two weeks ago. After a little bit of coaxing, she told me she’d been kissed by Rory. She apparently had a crush on him as well.

“Fourteen year old drama.” I sigh. “Remember those years, Gale?”

“Vividly.” Gale grins. “I carried you all the way home after you twisted your ankle that year, remember?”

I blush. That memory never fails to humiliate me, even four years later.

“Let’s go have some dinner before we go to the airport.” I tell Gale, trying to hold on to some of my dignity.

“Sure, Catnip.” Gale teases, imitating my voice. “Let’s have dinner.”

When we get down, we see that every inch of the table is covered in food. Gale and I stare in shock, because we haven’t seen this much food in one place in our life. The two turkey’s Gale and I shot are in the middle, surrounded by heaps of vegetables and even some savory sauces. My mouth immediately begins to water. 

Half an hour later, I’m stuffed and about to burst. I can’t remember eating this much in my whole life. Hazelle and my mother have been saving up for this meal for months, as a special way to say goodbye to Gale. Since we’ve never had such a huge meal before, they decided it would be the perfect way to send Gale off.

Gale is still eating, and Prim and Rory are trying to look at each other without the other noticing. It’s quite amusing, and I catch myself watching. When their eyes meet, Prim blushes and Rory clears his throat and reaches for his napkin in an effort to look distinguished. I barely hold back my snort of laughter.

I help Hazelle and Mother with the clean-up. We have enough leftovers to feed us for the next two weeks. Hazelle splits the food evenly, and Prim and I wipe the table.

“So, how’s Rory?” I ask Prim innocently as I pick up some of the dirty dishes.

Prim’s eyes widen and her face goes red. “Fi-fine.” She stutters.

I laugh. “Prim, I know you like him.” I soothe. “You told me, remember?”

“Yeah, but still…” Prim trails off, but I know she’s feeling more relaxed. Prim’s eyes trail over me, and they suddenly land on my hand. Prim gasps, and I know she sees the ring. I try to cover my hand innocently, but it’s no use.

“Katniss!” She squeals. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

_Crap._ Of course, everyone in the kitchen, including Hazelle and Mother, stop what they’re doing and stare at Prim and I. “What?” I say innocently. Maybe I can worm myself out of this situation without anyone finding out about Gale’s proposal to me.

“You and Gale are getting _married!”_ Prim screams. “ Katniss, why didn’t you tell us right away?”

“Oh, Katniss, congratulations!” Hazelle smiles warmly at me. “We’re so excited you’re part of the family!”

Mother even smiles, and I find myself smiling tentatively back at her. I’ve distanced myself after she left Prim and I to starve after Dad’s death, but I’ve been trying to make amends.

After the conversation shifts from my impending wedding to some other subject, I relax. I don’t like to be part of the spotlight.

We somehow all manage to squish into Gale’s old 1990 Ford Truck for the long ride to the airport, which is two towns over. Posy sits in my lap, playing with the end of my braid. I find that I don’t really mind, so I let her continue twirling it around her chubby fingers.

The airport is fully of families, who like us, are saying goodbye to their loved ones. Most of them like us, are poor families that are just scraping by. One of the reasons Gale signed up to be a soldier in the first place is because he wants to escape our small town in the heart of Pennsylvania.

I don’t see any “merchants.” Our town is separated into “the Seam,” where the poorer families like mine and Gale’s, live, and “the merchant part of town,” where the marginally less poor families live. Merchants all have blonde hair and blue eyes, but all I see is the familiar wave of black Seam hair and grey eyes.

Gale and a couple of his friends who are leaving as well immediately band together and start joking around. I stand off to the side with the rest of the Hawthorne family, Mother, and Prim. According to the flight announcements, Gale’s plane will be leaving in about ten minutes. I unconsciously play with the ring on my finger in an attempt to soothe my nerves.

“Katniss?” Prim asks softly. I start, and see her staring at me. I didn’t even realize that I was digging my nails into the flesh of my palm until now. Bright red droplets of blood ooze out of the fingernail claws on my hand.

“You are nervous.” Prim states. “You told me you weren’t nervous.”

“I’m not nervous.” I argue uselessly.

“Katniss, he’s going to be fine.” Prim whispers. She surprises me by throwing her arms around me and hugging me tightly. “He’s going to marry you once he gets back and you’ll both live happily ever after.”

I smile at innocent and young Prim looks. She smiles encouragingly at me, and I can’t help but smile back at her.

Gale heads over to me. Before I know what he’s doing, he’s pressed his lips to mine. I don’t resist, but I don’t do anything either. This is my first kiss, which should register something in my mind, I guess, but all I can feel is how hard and possessive Gale’s lips are on mine.

“I had to do that.” He says to me. “At least once.”

I ignore him. “Be careful out there.” I hold his hand gently in my own. “And write me lots of letters.”

“I will, to both.” Gale tells me. When he wraps his arms around me, I don’t hesitate to jump into them. He smells like fresh pine and leather, and I inhale his scent, memorizing it.

“Bye, Catnip.” Gale says. He gives me one last kiss, on the cheek, before walking away. He waves at all of us one last time before disappearing into the boarding gate.

And just like that, he’s gone.

I turn around, intending to follow everyone outside and to Gale’s old car. Mother will have to drive Gale’s truck now, since she’s the only one with a license. Gale has been pestering me to get one since I was sixteen, but I never did.

A group of people rush past us. I immediately recognize Mr. Mellark and Mrs. Mellark. Two older boys, who I’m assuming are Peeta’s brothers, are with them. But that’s not what stops me short.

It’s that Peeta is wearing a green military uniform and heading right inside the gate that Gale disappeared into moments ago.  Oh God, _no._

Suddenly, the small bag of cookies Peeta tried to give me makes sense. He wasn’t trying to pity me, and he wasn’t even giving it to me because Gale was leaving. He’d given me the bag because he wanted me to remember and support him. Guilt rushed through me.

He’s going to leave, and I never had a chance to thank him for the bread. And odds are, I will never see him again to say thank you.

That means I will never stop owing Peeta Mellark. _Ever_.

 

* * *

 

**Ok, that’s it for chapter one! I really want to thank all of you who read this story and are deciding to give it a chance. I really appreciate you and I will try my very hardest to not disappoint.**

**I hope to have the next chapter up soon. My update schedule is pretty erratic, because real life is very demanding right now. But I do plan to have a chapter up every week and a half to two weeks.**

**Thanks for reading! 3**

**Love,**

**Pearl**


	2. Chapter 2

**~A Fighting Chance~**

**~Chapter 2~**

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**Hi everyone! I am so glad that everyone enjoyed Chapter 1! It’s really great to see all your kind reviews, and your support just means the world to me. So, thank you, all my great readers! And if you haven’t reviewed yet… Please go ahead and review! :)**

* * *

**Just a quick side-note: Peeta and Katniss are eighteen in this story, which would make Gale twenty. I only did this because you have to be eighteen to be in the military (unless you fake your age LOL), and I don’t see Peeta as such as a rebellious rule breaker. :)**

**Ok, that’s all I have for now. So, go ahead, and enjoy Chapter 2!**

**~Katniss POV~**

**(Two weeks later)**

* * *

“Sweetheart, are you going to stand there all day?” Haymitch snarls nastily at me.

Haymitch is a sour, unsocial old drunk who owns the town’s only pub. It’s no surprise, really, because he spends more time drunk than sober. I try to keep all these things in mind, but I still can’t stand Haymitch Abernathy. He also happens to be my boss.

I give Haymitch my best glare before heading to the two men behind the counter. They are on their third beer of the night and show no signs of leaving anytime soon. One of the men, who happens to be particularly tipsy, leans over and kisses me right on the mouth.

I recoil, and make a point of  
wiping my lips with a nearby towel as I glare at him. The man, Chaff, who is a regular here, laughs loudly and points at me with his one good arm. His other arm ends in a stump, which is a legacy of fighting in the Vietnam War.

Our small town is hugely militaristic. Half the men are either war veterans or current soldiers. So it’s no surprise that so many boys, fresh out of high school, went to go fight in Afghanistan. In my mind, I see Peeta. He just graduated a month ago and he’s already gone. I didn’t think him the military type either. He’s just too kind and inherently good.

Haymitch has traipsed over to where Chaff and the other man sit. Haymitch and Chaff are good friends, and I see Haymitch snickering.

“What, Sweetheart, you never been kissed before?” Haymitch laughs at his own joke. “I’d think Gale would’ve taken care of that- and more- a long time ago.”

I ignore Haymitch’s pun. I know he’s just trying to wind me up, so he and Chaff can have a good laugh at me. But still, his jab at Gale hurts. Does he think that Gale is after me just for pleasure?

I go behind the counter and sit down on the stool. My legs are on fire, because I’ve been standing and waiting on half-drunk people all night. I work for Haymitch three nights a week in this bar, and Haymitch’s second employee, a girl named Johanna Mason, works the other four. Between the three of us, we manage just fine.

“Barley Mellark’s youngest son went off to Afghanistan two weeks ago,” Chaff slurs to Haymitch. “I hear his mom made him do it.”

I freeze and eavesdrop on the conversation. My heart is pounding, but I have no idea why. I attribute it to fear of being discovered eavesdropping.

“I wouldn’t be surprised.” Haymitch mutters darkly. “That woman’s a witch if I’ve ever known one.”

“That’s just a rumor though.” Chaff quickly interjects.

“Truths don’t get twisted around here too often.” Haymitch says. “It’s a small world around here.”

Their conversation shifts to something I have no interest in, so I turn my attention back to cleaning the glasses. I look at the clock and see it’s only twenty to two. Happily, I begin to wipe the tables and then get the bar ready for closing.

I’ve only been working here for two months. I was surprised I even landed the job, because I am under twenty-one, after all. But Haymitch has never been one for rules, so he gave me the job. Johanna, on the other hand, has been working here for nearly three years and is well over twenty-one.

Even the hours are good. The pub doesn’t open up until four in the afternoon, so that means I get to spend all day at home. But the only downsides are the meager pay, and the fact that I have to work with Haymitch.

“Look at you.” Haymitch comes up behind me. “Someone’s eager to get out of here tonight.”

I simply shrug at Haymitch. “It’s five to two. It’s time to close, after all.”

“Fiery, aren’t we?” Haymitch slurs. I go to get my purse from the back room, and when I come out, I see four bottles of hard liquor tucked under Haymitch’s arm.

“Chaff and I are continuing our conversation at home.” Haymitch says in response to my expression. “Relax, Sweetheart.”

Sometimes, I wonder how Haymitch doesn’t go bankrupt, what with all the alcohol he takes home every night. It’s a marvel that his store isn’t closed yet.

I usually walk home after work. After all, it is a small, quiet town with relatively no danger. Gale always used to say that we were living a hundred years behind everywhere else. I actually like the quaint, small-town atmosphere, whereas Gale always wanted to make a name for himself in a big city.

Prim and Mother are both asleep when I get home, so I get dressed and wash up quietly. The second I put my head on my pillow, I’m out like a light.

* * *

_I don’t know where I am. A wave of hysteria threatens to overwhelm me as I look around, desperately trying to find something that looks remotely familiar._

_I see nothing._

_I have the strong urge to begin walking. Standing stationary seems impossible because I am so wound up and anxious. I pass small, dilapidated houses and old stores. Everything is silent and quiet. Broken glass and rocks litter the ground._

_Each of my footsteps reverberates loudly through the deserted town I am currently wandering. I try to be silent, because the making the slightest sound feels wrong here._

_I turn a corner and walk past what looks like an old gas station. I continue my walking, trying to find some way out of this ominous-feeling town._

_Suddenly, I see someone. They are lying on the ground, but I see the telltale rising and falling of their chest. They are alive. That means I am no longer alone._

_I rush toward the person, and the closer I get, the more of their features I can make out. He is a young man, perhaps in his early twenties, with dark hair, tanned skin, and grey eyes. It’s not until I’m crouched next to the man that I realize he is very familiar to me._

_I can’t stop the strangled scream that escapes me. My shriek awakens the man, who is barely alive. Against his green military uniform, the dark red stain of blood on his chest is impossible to miss._

_“Gale.” I whisper. “Who did this?”_

_He just looks at me, his Seam grey eyes boring into my very soul. And then, like my mind is playing tricks on me, his grey eyes soften until they are completely blue._

_And suddenly, I’m crouched beside a dying Peeta. And for the first time, I touch Peeta Mellark’s hand. In an effort to calm him or myself, I’m not sure. All I know is that I won’t let him die._

I jerk out of my nightmare, covered in a cold sweat and shaking. For a couple minutes, all I can do is lye on my bed and shake. My body is completely powerless, I can’t move so much as an inch.

I stay in my frightened state for what could be minutes or hours, I’m not sure which. When I’m finally in control of my body, I go to our small bathroom and splash some cold water on my face. I stare at my reflection, so pale and disheveled, in the mirror.

_I look like a ghost._ I can’t help but think.

I glance at the clock in our hallway quickly and see that it’s five in the morning. I know I can’t go back to sleep right now even if my life depended on it, but it’s too early to go hunting in the woods behind our small town. So, I just sit on the couch in the living room, with my legs curled underneath me.

I know that it’s probably common to have nightmares about loved ones in the military. After all, Gale is my best friend- not to mention my fiancé- so it’s probably normal to be worried about him. My worry for him is just manifesting itself in the form of a nightmare.

But the fact that Peeta Mellark has somehow found his way into my dream is just plain weird. I mean, I’ve only talked to Peeta a couple of times. Simple conversations, like school topics or trading. Nothing that is truly meaningful. The only meaningful things about Peeta are the bread and the dandelion.

I shake these confusing thoughts from my head, and lay down on the pillow on our couch. I got home at two in the morning from work, so that means I’ve only been asleep for about three hours. I’m so exhausted that sleep gets the best of me again, and I fall asleep right on our worn old couch.

* * *

“Katniss, can we please go get a cookie?” Prim begs me. “I _really_ want a cookie!”

I’ve only been awake for an hour now, but my back already aches from sleeping on the couch all night. All I want to do is go to the woods and lean against a tree. But when Prim gives me the puppy dog face, I can’t resist it. I stare into her sad blue eyes and I can feel myself caving in. I exhale deeply before replying. “Sure, Prim.” I say in a defeated tone.

“You’re the best, Katniss!” Prim squeals. Before I know what she’s doing, I feel her hug me and then run off to her room to change.

Prim really has grown a lot in the past two years. She is no longer a child, but almost a woman. My heart aches, to see her growing up so quickly. Not so long ago, she was a child. And now, she is celebrating her fourteenth birthday in just a couple weeks.

Prim is more chipper than usual as we take the short walk to the bakery, which is saying something. I can count the number of times Prim has been unhappy on one hand. And I definitely intend to protect her and make sure she never has a reason to be unhappy.

“Prim, what’s that on your leg?” As Prim bounds along in front of me, I suddenly noticed a large, dark bruise on her leg.

“Oh, this?” Prim asks as she points at the huge bruise. “I fell off the swing while at the park with Rue on Thursday.”

“Are you sure?” I ask with my eyes narrowed. I had not seen that bruise on Thursday, and Prim had been wearing short shorts. I think I would have noticed it.

“Yeah, I’m sure.” Prims says lightly. “Don’t be such a worrywart!”

I drop the subject, and try to put it out of my mind. Maybe Prim is right. I am just acting like a worrywart. Just because my little sister has a bruise on her leg that I didn’t notice, that doesn’t make me a bad sister.

Prim bounds into the bakery before me, and I hurry inside after her. Immediately, I am greeted by the sweet smells of sugar, cinnamon, and chocolate. It’s at least ten degrees warmer here in the Mellark’s Bakery, because of all the ovens and stoves.

Prim looks through the glass counters at all the cakes, cookies, and various pastries and breads. I stare at the chocolate cakes and fruit pies along with Prim. The sugar cookies immediately catch my eye, and I find myself looking at the intricate designs. Pink swirls and bright flowers, and I can even see a bright primrose flower.

“Can I help you?” A voice calls from behind the counter. A moment later, a head of graying blonde hair emerges from underneath the counter.

The baker, Mr. Mellark, closely resembles Peeta Mellark. Peeta’s thick, blonde waves, blue eyes, and heavy, muscular build area all Mr. Mellark’s. But the single most obvious feature they share is their smile. They both have a kind, heartfelt, and sincere smile that just lights their eyes up.

A pang runs through my heart when Mr. Mellark smiles down kindly at Prim. It’s almost like Peeta is smiling down at Prim, ready to give her cookies.

“Hello, Primrose.” Mr. Mellark smiles down benignly at Primrose. “What can I do for you today?”

“Katniss said she’d buy me some cookies.” Prim says charmingly.

“And which ones would you like?” Mr. Mellark asks as he grabs a paper bag.

“The sugar cookies.” Prim replies immediately.

“Ah, yes, they are always a favorite.” Mr. Mellark responds. “In fact, they were Peeta’s favorite as well.”

I look anywhere but at Mr. Mellark as he says that. I should be asking about Peeta right now, and seeing if there is any news about him. I did go to school with him for thirteen years, after all. The least I can do is ask Peeta’s father how his son is doing in the military.

Thankfully, Prim comes to my rescue. “How is Peeta, Mr. Mellark?” She asks politely.

“We haven’t gotten any letters yet,” Mr. Mellark says casually, but his eyes say something different. “But I’m sure he’s doing just fine, but just too busy to find time to write yet.”

I know Mr. Mellark is worried about Peeta, even if he doesn’t say anything. My stomach clenches uncomfortably. Could it be that Peeta was already injured or in trouble, and I didn’t even know?

Before I could ponder the question too much, Mr. Mellark handed the bag of cookies to Prim. I reached for my wallet, and paid the money for Prim’s cookies. Prim was already digging into the first cookie, with a content smile on her face.

Mr. Mellark hands me two cookies wrapped in a napkin with the change he owes me. I hesitate, not willing to take anything that I haven’t paid for.

“Just take them, Katniss.” Mr. Mellark says. “Peeta would have wanted you to have them.”

* * *

Several hours later, I find myself sitting alone in my room, facing a blank paper. I’ve been staring at this paper for nearly thirty minutes, trying desperately to find something to write. But my mind is a blank, and I can’t think of anything to write that doesn’t sound awkward.

_Dear Peeta,_

I begin by writing out his name, and then sigh loudly again. What am I supposed to write to someone I’ve talked to a handful of times in my life?

But I feel like I owe Peeta Mellark a great debt. Maybe if I can just write him this letter, and thank him for the bread, I’ll be able to let go of my debt. Being indebted to someone is the worst feeling for me.

I hate to be dependent on anyone, or to owe them anything. And that day, in the rain, I was completely dependent on Peeta Mellark, and the bread he gave me. Without that bread, I have no doubt that I would have died, along with my whole family.

_Thank you for the bread you gave me._

I stare at my neat, small handwriting and the words I have written. They only take up half a line, and the whole rest of the paper is blank. But I don’t know what else to write.

And then, Mr. Mellark’s face comes into mind. I see his casual expression as he told Prim that he hasn’t heard from Peeta yet, and underneath it, the worry he was hiding. So, with that in mind, I write another line.

_I hope you are doing well, and that you aren’t injured or in trouble._

I bet Mrs. Mellark isn’t even worried about Peeta. From what Haymitch said, Mrs. Mellark made Peeta go to Afghanistan.  I don’t know why, though, even though a couple possibilities run through my mind. Maybe she was trying to bring some family honor through Peeta’s service? Or, maybe, however horrible it sounds, she was trying to find an easy way to get rid of Peeta.

A rush of pure hatred runs through me as I think about Mrs. Mellark. If she sent Peeta to war for no other reason than to get rid of him, I will rip her to shreds. That gives me the motivation for the next sentence.

_We are all hoping for you safe return. Thank you for your service. Please feel free to write me back if you want to._

I sign my name at the bottom, and quickly write my email and phone number. Maybe Peeta will have some free time, and access to a computer or phone. I fold the paper, and slip it inside an envelope. I quickly get dressed, and pick up the envelopes.

I also wrote a letter to Gale earlier to today. Thankfully, that one was much easier to write. I told Gale about Rory’s hunting lessons, and how I found him and Prim kissing under the oak tree after school. I even asked him how he was doing, and what army life was like.

Prim and Mother are just getting ready for dinner. “Katniss, will you eat with us?” Prim asks me happily. “I still have a couple cookies we can share!”

“I actually have to go.” I say to her. “Enjoy your cookies, Prim.”

I turn to Mother, and say, “I wrote Gale a letter that I need to drop off before going to work.”

“Bye, Prim.” I call out as I walk out the door. Suddenly, something heavy barrels into me and I feel Prim’s thin arms wrap around me.

“Bye, Katniss.” She whispers. “Be safe.”

“Don’t worry about me, Prim.” I whisper. “I’ll be fine.”

And with that, I walk out and begin the short walk to the town post office. Our town is very small, and you can get almost anywhere without a car. I remember how Gale always says our small Pennsylvania town is stuck in the past. He’s right, of course. We have Internet, and phones, but most people don’t even use them. And I’m just fine with our town the way it is. I wouldn’t change a thing.

A bell chimes above me as I open the post office door and walk in. I stand in line behind a couple of people that I know by name. That’s the other thing about our town. We all know each other, because it’s so small. I don’t even think any new families move into here.

I become aware of loud yelling at the front desk. I see the short blonde hair and plump figure of someone who can only be Mrs. Mellark.

“I know you’ve lost his fucking letters!” She screeched. “He’s such a wimp that I expected him to write his equally cowardly father every day! And his father got worried about him when we didn’t hear anything from him!”

The woman at the front desk looks at Mrs. Mellark with obviously dwindling patience. “Ma’am, we are expected to get our first letters from those serving overseas in a couple weeks. There has been a delay due to some delivery problems.”

“In my opinion, the army will be good for him,” Mrs. Mellark mutters under her breath. “Even if he does end up dying.” She huffs in annoyance, muttering about people wasting her time, and her good-for-nothing son. I feel sorely tempted to hit her as she walks past me and out the door.

I step forward to the front desk. “Sorry for the wait, Ma’am.” She says kindly. “That woman was being very difficult.” I note her pretty brunette-red waves and emerald green eyes, and realize she is a stranger to me. In a town where everyone knows everyone, it’s unusual to see strangers.  

“It’s no problem.” I say honestly. “I have a couple letters to send to my fiancé in the army, and a letter for a…” I pause as I try to think up a name for what Peeta is to me. “…friend.” I finish lamely.

Peeta Mellark and I definitely are not friends, but I can’t think of anything else to call him, so I just went with friend. Friend is probably the last word I’d use to describe Peeta and me, but for now, I’ll use it.  

“Sure.” She says kindly. “My husband is a Marine. His name is Finnick, and I’m Annie. I just moved here a couple months ago, since my Mom and Dad live here. I didn’t want to be alone when Finn left.”

“Where did you move from?” I ask Annie curiously. I’m not a people person, in fact, I hate to socialize, but it’s easy to talk to Annie.

“California.” She says with a smile. “I forgot how nice it can be to live in a small town. Compared to San Diego, this place is empty!”

“I know what you mean,” I say with a small smile. “My fiancé says that we are an invisible town living a hundred years in the past.”

“And what about this friend of yours?” Annie asks me with a teasing smile.

“Umm… We went to school together, and we’re friends.” I lie quickly. “I’m just checking in on him.”

Annie puts the stamp on Peeta’s letter, and after I thank her, I walk away.  She waves at me as I walk out, and I suddenly have a feeling I’ll be seeing Annie a lot. After all, I will probably be sending Gale a lot of letters.

Haymitch is as surely as ever when I walk into the pub. “You’re late.” He mutters to me. “Where have you been?”

“At the post office.” I snap, a little more meanly than I intended. I go to the back room to drop my purse off, and come back out to see Haymitch drinking some red liquid.

“Sweetheart, you’ve got quite the sunny personality.” He slurs as he slowly shakes his head. “Now, I’m leaving-” He leans down to grab a couple bottles of some sort of alcohol. “-Just try to stay alive and make sure my pub is still standing tomorrow morning.”

Haymitch ambles out, clearly drunk. He walks right into the glass door, not realizing it is there. Haymitch stares at the glass for a full ten seconds before groaning and pushing the door open. I allow myself a snicker as he finally manages to walk out.

The night goes by unbelievably slowly. Working the whole night with drunkards is just disgusting. Half of them forget their names after an hour in here. After working with Haymitch for several months, I’ve grown a huge hatred for alcohol. Seeing what it can do to people, and how dependent they become on it, it almost scares me.

One of the men staggers up to me now for a refill. I silently refill his glass and hand it back to him.

“Such a pretty girl,” He leers at me. “Haymitch isn’t in his right mind to keep you here all alone.”

I simply ignore him. I reach for a towel to wipe the counter down, just to have something to do.

“You better watch out,” He adds before wandering back to his chair. “You never know when I might be really drunk and my hand will just… slip.”

I sneak to the back room. I’ve had it with these drunkards who have nothing to do with their lives but waste it. I’m going to tell Haymitch I’m done tomorrow. I’m serious this time. I’ve thought about quitting the second I walked into this awful pub, but I needed the money. But I’ll find somewhere else to work, I know I can.

As I reach this conclusion, my phone rings. To my complete surprise, it’s my mom. I’m surprised she’s even awake to call me at this time. It’s one in the morning, after all. Suddenly, a thousand possibilities rush through my head. All I can think of is something terrible that happened to Gale, and the terror threatens to consume me.

But I still have enough composure to answer the phone. “Hello?” I say somewhat tentatively.

“Hi, Katniss,” My mom says in a surprisingly neutral voice. “When you get home, I won’t be there.”

“And are you just going to leave Prim by herself for an hour?” I snap. I’ve been trying to be nicer to Mother these days, but I’m not letting her leave Prim all by herself.

“No, she’s the reason I’m leaving.” Mother explains. “I think she’s sick. She has a really high fever, and she’s throwing up.”

“What?” I feel my heart start pounding. “What do you mean? What’s wrong with her?”

“I’m not sure,” Mom says hesitantly. “But I can tell it’s serious.”

“Where are you going?” I ask in a whisper, dreading the answer.

“I’m taking her to the hospital.”

* * *

 

**OK, first off, I really want to thank you for your patience. It’s been a really busy couple of weeks for me, because I just have so much school work and finding time to write is really hard. But I did it! :)**

**So, this really was a bit of a filler chapter, but it’s really important. You met three really important characters- Annie, Mrs. Mellark, and Haymitch, - and the whole basis for the story is really in this chapter.**

**Next chapter: Katniss POV again, more on Prim, a letter from Gale, and maybe a little something about Peeta?**

**And please don’t forget to comment!**

**Love,**

**Pearl 3**                                                                                                                                                                                                     
                                                                                                                                                                                                               

 


	3. Chapter 3

**~A Fighting Chance~**

**~Chapter 3~**

* * *

**Hi everyone!**

**I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas and I hope you have a great New Year! :)**

**Now… Enjoy!**

* * *

**~Katniss POV~**

Numbness. All I remember feeling is absolutely nothing. It’s like my body shut down in the face of terrible tragedy. I try to find the energy to do something, _anything,_ but that energy is yet to make itself known.

Once Mother told me Prim was sick, all the terrible possibilities ran through my head. I flinched at images of Prim hooked up to machines and on the brink of death. But then the more rational side of my mind took control. Posy had recently had the flu, and she might have passed it on to Prim. _Yes,_ I thought, _that’s probably it. Maybe she just has a bad case of the flu._

As I close up the bar and grab my purse, I focus on that positive thought. I will not succumb to my hysterics before I even get to the hospital.

Since the hospital is a quick fifteen minute walk from Haymitch’s pub, I opt to walk instead of calling a cab. Again, Gale’s voice rushes through my head. _You should learn to drive, Catnip._ I still don’t see the point in learning though. Everything in this town- home, work, the marketplace- is in walking distance.

The night sky is alive with the sounds of crickets and a couple birds. I enjoy the cool breeze rushing past my face, and I even find myself starting to calm down about Prim. The outdoors has always had this kind of effect on me. It’s the one place I can go where I can really be myself. I don’t have to pretend or be someone I’m not.

It seems that I get to the hospital way too soon. Walking out of the cool night air and into the hospital makes me remember the full direness of the situation. My relaxed mood dissipates as I take a breath of sterilized-smelling hospital air.

Since I have no idea where Prim and Mother are at, I decide to call, so I pull my phone out of my bag. Mother answers on the first ring, which I take as a good sign. She isn’t too busy with Prim to not answer her phone right away.

“Hey Mom,” I begin casually, “Where are you and Prim at?”

“Oh, hi, Katniss,” Mom says with some relief. “You’re finally here. Prim is in the Pediatric Center, which is the sixth level. Just tell the nurse at the front you’re here to see Prim.”

“Ok.” I say. “I’ll be there in a minute.”

I take the elevator to the sixth floor and enter into an empty waiting room. I walk quietly, because walking too loudly seems like a crime here. I tiptoe up to the nurse’s desk, and the nurse there looks up at me and smiles. “Hello, dear, what can I do for you?”

“I’m here to see my sister.” I say, trying not to show my nerves. “Her name is Primrose Everdeen.”

The nurse, who looks to be in her forties, looks at the computer screen for a moment before responding. “Of course, come on inside. Primrose is in Room 22.” The nurse says. She looks at me in an almost sympathetic way, which unnerves me. I hate it when people feel bad for me.

She presses some button on her desk that unlocks the door. I walk through the door and turn left. Room 22 is the third room on my right hand side. I hesitate for one brief second before turning the doorknob and pushing the door open.

Only one thought rushes through my frozen mind. _Prim is sick. Prim is very, very sick._

She lies unmoving on the hospital bed. Her skin is pale and clammy and she seems to be fast asleep. I creep to her side, and see Mother holding Prim’s hand. I take a seat on Prim’s other side and grab her hand.

“So, what’s wrong with her?” I ask Mother. “I know she hung out with Posy yesterday, and Posy has the flu.”

“No, it’s not the flu.” Mother says tiredly. “They’re running some tests on her. They drew blood and did a physical check-up as well.”

“Ok, so it’s nothing serious,” I state in relief. “So, when can we take Prim home?”

“Actually, it could be serious.” Mother replies. “The doctors found this on her leg.”

Mother draws the covers back and reveals the big bruise I noticed earlier on Prim’s leg. “Oh yeah, Prim already told me about that.” I say calmly. “She fell off the swings while at the park with Rue.”

“No she didn’t.” Mom says calmly. “This kind of a bruise is different. We see these bruises on leukemia patients.”

Time slows down for a second as my brain tries to process this. The words sound so foreign in my mind, and it takes me a couple seconds to process Mother’s words. And when I finally do, I feel my heart sink to my toes.

“Do you mean…” I trail off, unable to say the words.

“The blood tests have to come back first.” Mother says in a detached voice. “But I’ve worked in this field, Katniss. I just know that she has it.”

“Don’t you dare give up on her yet!” I scream without thinking. I forget that I’m in a hospital as I jump to my feet. “Just because you’re a damn nurse doesn’t mean you’re always right!”

Mother appraises my red face calmly. “Katniss, sit down.”

“I will not.” I hiss. “Don’t tell me what to do. Prim is going to be just fine. She got the flu from Posy and she has a bruise because she fell off the swing like any kid her age.”

Prim stirs at that moment, and her sky blue eyes open and focus on me. “Katniss?” She asks.

“I’m right here, Prim.” I whisper, kneeling by her side. “You’re fine, Prim. You caught the flu from Posy, and you’ll be all better before you know it.”

“Katniss?” Prim asks again. “Can I tell you something?”

“Anything.” I say sincerely, squeezing Prim’s hand.

“I never fell off the swing on Thursday.” She whispers, tears filling her eyes. “I have two more bruises on my back. I don’t know how they got there.”

Unbidden, tears begin to fill my eyes as well. It can’t be true. Beautiful, kind, funny, loving Prim can’t have cancer. She just _can’t_.

“It’s ok, Prim.” I whisper. “You’re going to be fine.” But I feel like Prim doesn’t even believe me.

“I’m scared.” She whispers in a tremulous voice, her bottom lip quivering.

“Don’t be.” I say firmly. “I promise you’ll be fine.”

And I can’t help but wonder if I’m making a promise that will be impossible for me to keep.

I stroke her hair softly as she dozes off again. I don’t know how long I sit there, combing her hair, but I feel my eyes begin to droop. It is the early hours of morning, after all, and I’ve been working all night.

I slip into a light and fitful sleep. After what seems like mere seconds, I get startled awake by soft voices. I open my eyes and see Mother talking to an older man wearing a white coat.

“Her blood tests are back, Mrs. Everdeen.” He murmurs. “The white blood cell count is extremely high.”

Mother doesn’t reply, so the doctor continues. “It seems to be spreading abnormally fast. We’ll start chemotherapy and put on her some medications right away.”

Hot, wet tears slip down my cheeks. Part of me can’t believe that Prim really does have leukemia. I hear the doctor walk out, and Mother takes a deep breath and I hear her sit down heavily.

Suddenly, I’m hit by a terrible possibility. What if Mother checks out now, when Prim needs her the most? Mother is a nurse, and has experience with sick children. Prim needs Mother now, because I can barely stand to see people coughing. I won’t be of much help to Prim. Mother can’t check out on us. I have to make sure she doesn’t.

I opened my eyes and saw Mother staring straight ahead, her eyes glazed over. My worst fears were confirmed.

“Mother,” I whisper. I stand up and walk to her side, and kneel by her chair. “Mother, listen to me.”

I shake her urgently until her eyes focus on me. “Mother, can you hear me?”

“Yes.” She whispers.

“You can’t blank out on us again, like when Dad died.” I say, not bothering to beat around the bush. “Prim needs you. You need to be here for us, to help her.”

“I couldn’t control it.” She whispers. “I’m better now. I have medicine now, and I can control it.”

“I don’t care.” I hiss. “Just don’t leave her. Prim needs you more than anything.”

“Katniss, I know I owe you an apology.” Mother admits. “I forced you to become a mom when you were still a child.”

“I won’t forgive you unless you help Prim.” I say coldly. “You can’t let her die.”

“You’ll be a great mother someday.” She says softly. I instinctively flinch at the thought of having children. I’ve never wanted to have children. I refuse to bring children into a harsh world where they can’t even trust their own parents.

She gently runs a hand through my hair, stroking my hair. I don’t lean into her touch, but I don’t pull away either. I don’t want her to know how much I crave her touch, even though I don’t trust her yet.

“She won’t die.” Mother promises. “I love her so much too, Katniss. I’ll do everything to help her.”

And for the first time, I allow myself to believe Mother. But a tiny voice of doubt in the back of my head can’t help but think that Mother doesn’t even believe herself.

* * *

 The next three days area a flurry of blood tests, Prim throwing up, and more blood tests. My days begin to follow a consistent pattern. Prim wakes up nauseous and shaky, tries to eat breakfast, throws it up, and goes to sleep again. This routine happens every single time she wakes up.

After six hours of this, the doctors decide that Prim is to be kept on a liquid diet. Mother leaves the hospital for a couple hours and goes to the grocery store to buy yogurt, Jell-O, and as much juice as our small fridge can fit. She drops it all off at home before coming back, since the doctors said that Prim can probably go home in a couple days.

I’m surprised when I get a call from Haymitch at about two in the morning.

“Hello?” I say blearily. I’d been asleep when the phone vibrated against my thigh.

“Sweetheart, where the fuck are you?” Haymitch snarls. “And are you drunk?”

“I was asleep until you called.” I snap in annoyance. “And I’m in a hospital.”

“What’s wrong?” Haymitch grunts. He’s trying to keep the concern out of his voice, but underneath the gruff tone, I can still detect it.

“Prim has leukemia.” I say simply. It still doesn’t feel real to me that Prim has leukemia. I can’t process the whole thing yet.

“Do you need the week off?” Haymitch says in his regular slurred voice. He’s never been one for sentimental occasions anyway, so he chooses to skip over everything.

“Thank you.” I say in response. I technically don’t need the week off, but I’d rather be close to Prim now. Maybe I’m getting paranoid.

“Anytime, Sweetheart.”

I groan as I close the phone. My sleepy mood has completely evaporated, so going back to sleep is completely out of the question. I glance at Prim and see that she is fast asleep and will probably stay that way for several hours.

I decide that leaving this room for a bit will probably do me some good, so I head down to the cafeteria. I order a coffee, even though I have no intention of drinking it. I sit down at an empty table and swirl the hot brown liquid with a red coffee stirrer.

I’m so caught up in my thoughts that I don’t even notice that someone has taken the seat opposite me until they clear their throat loudly.

I look up, momentarily caught off guard. My eyes land on an older man whose bright blue eyes are anything but unfamiliar.

“Mr. Mellark?” I ask somewhat hesitantly. I’ve only said a couple of sentences to Mr., Mellark in my whole life. An awkward silence gapes, so I continue. “Hi, Mr. Mellark. What are you doing here?”

“Hey, Katniss,” Mr. Mellark gives me a kind smile. “My older son, Wheaton, and his wife are having their first baby.”

“Wow, congratulations.” I say, not knowing what else to say.

“Thanks. My wife Gretchen is having a fit up there and I needed an escape.” He laughs nervously. “She always has something to yell about.”

I allow myself a laugh as I imagine Mrs. Mellark yelling at some poor little nurse. And then a shiver runs through me when I think of how she would yell at Peeta the same way. “How’s Peeta doing?” I ask in what I hope comes across in a casual fashion.

Mr. Mellark’s face lights up at the mention of Peeta’s name. “We got a letter from him yesterday. He says he’s doing well, but of course Peeta’s always an optimist, so I don’t know whether I should believe him.”

I laugh. “I hope he’s well.” I say honestly. “Do you know if he might come for a visit soon?”

“He wanted to be here for Wheaton’s baby’s arrival.” Mr. Mellark says wistfully. I know he wishes his youngest son was here. “Peeta loves kids. He was excited to be here, but it didn’t work out.”

I can’t really relate to this, because I’ve never wanted kids. So I decide to steer the conversation in a different direction.

“I’m surprised Peeta even went into the military.” I say honestly. “He doesn’t seem like that type of guy.”

Mr. Mellark’s eyes get a faraway look, but he only responds with, “I guess he just wanted to try something new.”

My eyes narrow in suspicion. Mr. Mellark is definitely not telling the truth. I know Peeta would never want to try out killing people, no matter who the people may be. But I just nod and let the subject drop, since Mr. Mellark definitely doesn’t seem comfortable discussing it.

“So, what are you doing here?” Mr. Mellark finally asks the one question that I’ve been hoping he wouldn’t ask.

I hesitate before answering. “Prim wasn’t feeling too well a couple nights ago. So my mom brought her here.”

And before I can continue, treacherous tears fall down my cheeks. I try to inconspicuously wipe them away with my sleeve, and Mr. Mellark pretends not to notice. I take a sip of my otherwise untouched coffee and gag on the horrid stuff.

“We just found out she has leukemia.” I say, surprising myself when I tell Mr. Mellark the truth. “But she’s going to be ok.” I add quickly, trying to convince myself as much as Mr. Mellark.

“I’m sorry to hear that.” Mr. Mellark says, shaking his head. “Prim is such a lovely, cheerful child.”

“I am too.” I say sadly. “But she’s going to be fine.” I repeat.

Mr. Mellark nods his head. “I sure hope so.”

Mr. Mellark suddenly digs his hand in one of the pockets of the jacket he wears. He pulls out a small, folded white bag. “You can give this to her when she wakes up.”

I take the bag from Mr. Mellark, and upon opening it, find two cookies. I quickly fold it back up and hold it back out. “Prim can’t eat solid food for now, but thanks anyways.”

“Keep it.” Mr. Mellark says gruffly. “Bye, Katniss. I got to go before Gretchen explodes.”

“Bye, Mr. Mellark.” I reply. Mr. Mellark waves goodbye and turns around. In seconds, he disappears into a crowd of people getting into the elevator.

I stare down at the bag of cookies in my hand. In a sudden burst of anger, I throw the bag into the nearest trash can.

I don’t even know why I threw those cookies. The white hot anger I was feeling, over Prim being sick, just consumed me. All I can think is why did Prim get sick, out of all the other people in the world? More specifically, why did she get sick and not me? And with that unfathomable thought, I storm back up to Prim’s room.

* * *

A lot happened in the next three days, none of which I was too happy about. Prim got her first chemotherapy session, and even worse, her beautiful blonde locks began to fall out. She spends a lot of her time crying, which breaks my heart. Whenever she begins tearing up, I will get in bed with her and hug her for hours on end.

On the day that Prim is supposed to leave the hospital, I sit beside her, holding her hand. She has been quiet today, but I feel like this is an improvement over all the tears.

“Katniss?” Prim asks quietly. “Will my hair ever grow back?”

“Of course it will.” I say in my most confident voice. “Don’t even worry about it.”

“What if it doesn’t?” Prim continues. “What if it doesn’t grow back and I have to go back to school in August bald?”

“It will grow back.” I say soothingly. “And if it doesn’t grow that fast, you can wear a scarf.”

Prim sniffles. “Katniss, I don’t want to go to school next year.”

I sigh. “Prim, this isn’t about school, is it?”

“No.” She says in a small voice and looks up at me with her large blue eyes.

“You can tell me.” I whisper. “I won’t tell anyone else.”

“Not even Mother?” Prim asks in a whisper.

“Not even her.” I say with an encouraging smile.

“What if I go to school and people see me and laugh at me?” Prim asks. “And what if… Rory sees me and doesn’t like me anymore?”

I’ve never been good at speaking, but I try to find the right words to soothe Prim. It takes a moment for them to come, but when it comes to Prim, I’d do anything to help her. Tears begin to blossom out of Prim’s eyes when I don’t answer immediately.

“Prim, listen to me.” I say firmly. I gently hold her shoulders so that I force her to face me.

“If Rory doesn’t like you anymore, then he’s stupid.” I say firmly. “Don’t worry about him.”

“Are you sure?” Prim sniffles. “I just don’t want him to leave me.”

“I’ll shoot him through the eye with my bow when I take him for hunting practice on Sunday.” I offer teasingly.

Prim laughs through her tears. “Thanks, Katniss. But I don’t want you to do that.”

“Just joking.” I whisper. “But you just need to ask me.” I add seriously.

“You’re not being very helpful.” Prim mutters. But she is smiling, so I know that I’ve succeeded.

“Come on, don’t you want to leave this hospital?” I ask Prim. “I know that I just want to get out of here.”

“You have no idea.” Prim says darkly. “I hate it here.”

“Ok, I’ll go find Mom so she can sign your release papers.” I toss a duffel bag that holds some clothes in Prim’s direction. “You can get dressed while I do that.”

It doesn’t take too long to find Mother. I find her at the front desk, already signing Prim’s papers. I don’t want to go back to Prim’s room yet, so I just take a seat at one of the chairs in the waiting room. I watch the nurses hand Mother stack after stack of paper, each explaining something about Prim’s leukemia. And when they hand Mother a whole bag of medications, that’s when I feel like I’m going to throw up.

All this time, I’ve been trying to make Prim feel as normal as possible. I don’t want her to feel like her cancer has changed or affected her in any way. But who am I kidding, with all of these medicines and papers? Prim is sick, and I need to stop acting like she isn’t.

Since her diagnosis, I’ve been trying to kid myself. I thought that if I ignored all the cancer crap, maybe Prim would be fine. But now I see that all I’ve been wrong all along. I have to put aside my great fear of illnesses and hospitals to help Prim.

So I force myself up and go to Prim’s room. I find her pulling a sweater on, and I force myself to smile at Mother, who stands close to Prim.

“Katniss, just in time.” Mother says with a tight smile. “Do you want to carry Prim’s bag?”

“Sure.” I reply as I cross the room and pick Prim’s bag up.

The ride home is long and quiet. Prim seems tired, but I’m not surprised. She gets tired very easily, because of the cancer. Mother is always quiet, so it’s no big deal that she is choosing to be quiet now. And I feel a little drained-out, because of the events of the past week.

Once we get home, Mother rushes Prim inside. I linger outside though, and decide I’ll take the short walk to our mailbox.

I find a couple of magazines that Prim reads. They are mostly about clothes and celebrities. I think it’s a waste of time to read magazines, but Prim thinks differently. There are a couple bills that Mother will need to take care of, and then I find two thick letters in the back of the mailbox.

The first of the two letters is from Gale. I feel my lips curve upwards into my first smile of the week. Seeing a real, concrete thing from Gale is comforting. This is proof that he’s ok, and moreover, hasn’t forgotten about me.

I’m thinking that the next letter is another one from Gale. After all, he has been gone for nearly a month now, and probably wrote me twice. However, when I turn it over, the name on the front of the letter is one I definitely didn’t expect to see.

The second letter is from Peeta.

* * *

**I’m so sorry if this chapter is a little… boring or uneventful. It’s definitely not my best- I’m almost embarrassed to put it up. But I really needed to get this chapter in before I moved on to other things. And I will be writing a lot over the next couple of days, so I’m really going to try to put the next chapter up quickly (in like a week or so).**

** *********For all of you guys who are concerned about the lack of Peeta in this story… Don’t be! I HATE reading stories where Peeta is not present, so I know how you feel. I’m not going to make you guys go through that, so please don’t worry. Peeta will be back very, very, very soon. The next chapter focuses more on Gale, and then Peeta will be back in the picture.  **

**Thank you for all your support!**

**Lots of love,**

**Pearl 3**


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